If I could be of the significant, I would be one of the most efficient. Then I would hold your heart again. And we would be one because you are still holding mine in your hand.
If I could be of the significant, I could find the love that I need so desperately. Why can't I be the woman that you need? You are not so perfect, nor am I, but I need your love. I can not force you to be mine or accept that I still love you. I love you with all my heart, giving you everything I possess.
If I could be of the significant, I could forget you. Knowing you do not love me, I could. But there are too many questions. Questions that have not been answered and never will be. They linger in my mind and pull me into the past every now and then. Back to the times we shared and the joys we knew. Laughing and loving with nothing to think of but our dreams, soon to be fulfilled. Before I finished sifting through my dreams, you pushed me away and said you didn't love me anymore. You didn't need me after all. At that moment I realized the answers I had been searching for were the chains that held your heart from me.
So when I have questions with no answers, I will be certain I want the answer before I give my heart away looking for it. Once you have truly given your heart away you will never be the same. And you will realize how truly insignificant you feel.
April Mobley - Fall 1980
I wrote this many years ago at a particularly sad point in my life. This offering is not very well written, in my opinion, but I'm sure everyone can relate to feeling this way at one time in their lives so I shared it anyway.